What are your real fears

My son has recently developed a love of swimming. This makes me especially happy because, putting aside the not inconsiderable amount of money we have spent on his lessons over the years, I do not love swimming and I was determined he would not be like me. I really want to love it. I actually have the kind of physique which should be good at it. But there is one quite immense problem – I am scared of water. I even stand with my back to the shower because it panics me to have water running over my face. This is not conducive to being able to glide through the water like an elegant mermaid.

Last weekend I realised how these sorts of fears are holding me back. As I watched him try out kayaking and then mega paddle boarding and saw the joy on his face, I was so sad that I wasn’t sharing it with him. I tried to analyse what the fear was and realised it was primarily the fear of failing, looking silly, falling in and showing how a grown woman can’t do something her 10-year-old can. That and putting on a swimsuit, something I have never been comfortable with, even as a 20 something size 10. Now I am definitely not a size 10 and time, illness and menopause have taken their toll on my body. In fact, when I really thought about it, the fear of water was the least of my concerns.

So, I’ve decided that one of my goals for 2020 is to learn to swim properly. I have promised my son I will do this and he’s not going to let me forget it. And the only way this is going to happen is by creating my Action Board. It includes finding the swimsuit that makes me feel great and the teacher that makes me feel confident.

I will keep you posted on how it’s going but, in the meantime, what is truly holding you back? Not what you think it is, but deep down what you know it is.